A STAR was born on Friday Nights. Star was my stripper name and the only way to get STARS attention was with money in your hand.

See, here is the side of the street life they don’t tell you….

$500 dollars was a slow night and the excitement of being desired was similar to riding a roller coaster at the climax of adrenaline rushing through your veins. This lifestyle has a way of bringing you high just to trap you on the ground. The danger of objectifying your spirit to the cutthroat mentality that is the night life. Insomnia became my middle name and the bags under my eyes were the signs of a woman out of control and addicted to feeling absolutely nothing. I hated myself and I couldn’t grasp onto hope and vision of a better life.

There is nothing glamorous about being a stripper or drug addict. It pains my soul to see children emulating media that glorifies a lifestyle that almost killed me. I hear it all the time, ‘You don’t look like what you’ve been through”. You’re right, but my mind remembers the emptiness and damage endured in that era. Scattered memories clouded with Ecstasy pills, alcohol and any substance that allowed solitude from the shameful reality I created as my environment.

The daytime was spent driving from fast food restaurant and grocery store to get a fix of toxic foods. Inner thoughts created debilitating anxiety from the fullness in my stomach. Feeling powerless and out of control, I got on my knees in front of the toilet and stuck two fingers down my throat to unleash the strongest high and illusion of relief. This ritual was repeated at least 10 times a day because every morsel of food had the power to ruin the supposed control I maintained. Pill bottles filled with different types of diet pills. The echoing pound of my heart in my chest resounded in my ears. This was the soundtrack that played as I exercised to the point of injury.

It hurt so good to be thin and in “control”.

I continue to fight the evil inside that tells me I don’t deserve to show God’s grace through my mended broken pieces. I look back and thank God for guiding me into the purpose of my life. I kept the dark part of me hidden for years out of fear of judgement and now I realize this is my strength and Gods glory. I don’t look like what I’ve been through. I make a conscience effort and CHOOSE to fight for a better life then before. Don’t allow ANYONE to hold you back because of your mistakes and dark places.

The journey won’t always be easy, but I promise it’s worth it. 

 

SOBRIETY

7 years, 9 months, 7 days as of 07/11/2019

 

Tune into The Testimony Show on 953jamz.com Every Sunday 5-7 pm to start your week of with Inspiration and Hope.

Watch  Real Beauty Real Women show Monday Nights at 7-8 pm is sure to create the fire within to Change The World.

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The Majority find ourselves living up to the standards created by the life others “post” to be. We have taken “Keeping up with the Jones’” to a whole new level because most are never happy with their blessings. Today, we Keep Up With The Kardashians. Not to say this is wrong or right but isn’t it time we keep up with ourselves and the ones we love around us? Put our phones down to REALLY love, nurture and protect our REAL LIFE relationships.

Living life creates a PLETHORA of issues laying dormant in the back of our mind and back of our closet. It’s inevitable to keep certain matters sacred and protected from the world. When I opened up about the life I lived in the past, I was scared of the judgement I’d face. #ZeroRegrets Only now am I beginning to scratch the surface of my purpose as I grow older and wiser with the enriching lessons we all must endure to grow. Closet Chats allows viewers to take a moment to be honest with ourselves. Acknowledging how we all have “top drawer material” to focus on. 

Closet Chats Phrase: “TOP DRAWER MATERIAL”= Really Important

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then it is safe to say that we all have a few skeletons in our closet that require loving attention. What if I told you that some of the most beautiful and valuable pieces of art began in utter chaos and destruction? Would you believe that you are worth opening up to reflect, rebuild and reset your life and choices? Women can empower other women and grow as a whole and not just individuals. Television today praises shows that perpetuate drama and confusion and that won’t be the story line on Closet Chats. A powerhouse trio of colorful women taking pride in laying it all out on the table of truths.

I am beyond excited to have a candid show with successful women that are not only friends but leaders in the community. Closet Chats was only an idea brought on during a vacation that has turned into an amazing adventure with endless support. The private viewing was moderated by Emmy Award Winning Chauncy Glover of ABC 13 with hues of elegance and wonder. Resembling a life we can all live if we apply action to our dreams.

 

What many don’t know about CEO & Closet Chats Executive Producer, Earlene Buggs is that she met her husband Holton Buggs at the age of 12. It is safe to say she was there before the success which is important to mention. In a society that looks at wives of successful men as calculated and other negative connotations, it is time to break the judgement and allow others to live. The climate of society and humanity is beyond broken and all you need is 5 minutes with Mrs. Buggs and you will feel the spirit and heart of a woman that once faced financial difficulties completely reverse of the life she lives today. Although, to be quite honest- she won’t waste valuable time getting the haters to see her value because she knows her worth and who she is. A heart of gratefulness and a husband that spoke to me about how husbands should support their wives because it shines a light on the entire household. Wow. 

 

Felicia Henderson “The Philosopher” – Felicia is a dedicated wife to Pastor Keion Henderson, mother, entrepreneur, and the founder of the “Inspire” organization. Her rants may ruffle a few feathers, but you won’t watch an episode without walking away with a new catchphrase or perspective.

I asked Mrs. Henderson to give me one example of a time she was faced with a situation she didn’t know how to overcome and she spoke candidly about having a child at 15 years old. Look at God and what has become of her life, a true testimony.

 

This bubbly Latina is sure to speak her mind with the cool breeze and aura of a true Queen. I felt extremely comfortable speaking with Christina Murray on the PINK CARPET because she has this sense of faith that creates an endearing and monumental space for open conversation. 

I attend many screenings, movies and events and this was by far one of my favorites. All three of these women are not only beautiful, but strong and supportive of each other. A nice change of pace from the Bad Girls Club and Love and Hip Hop era society indulges in. Closet Chats comes at a time when the world craves the wisdom of genuine voices. The Cast of Women have a profound desire to help the world clean out their closet and put away the dirty laundry and I am HERE FOR IT! (INSERT 3 HAND CLAPS)

Closet Chats speaks on love, friendships, marriage and the essential items we all need to live a fulfilled life. Their chemistry is real and deeply rooted in living in truth. Directed by National Director Isaac Yowman of IYO VISUALS who is most known for his work with Revolt TV, BET and Marvel Studios. This production is at a spectacular level and I see nothing but greatness for everyone involved in this production.

Holton Buggs “The biggest thing they wanted to do was to make an impact on women all over the world.”

Considering the amount of wisdom I got from the 15 minute preview footage of the show…. I know Closet Chats will do just that!

What’s on your racks?

 

 

NOW… THE FOOD… 

Shoutout to the chef that made me special order vegetarian cilantro fries. yummmmmy

 

 

For more information and to watch the latest episodes of Closet Chats please visit www.facebook.com/theclosetchats

A Sneak Peek Of The Private Viewing Is Only A Click Away…. See Below

 

 

 

 

Obnoxious. Corny. Dramatic. A few of the words I would utilize to describe most comedians. When a comical person flips the script and decides to go the route of acting it is sometime met with doubter and parts consisting of surface level type casted roles. This would make the idea of a comedian’s craft easily palatable in the film industry. Just because you can tell a joke and make a person, or a sold-out stadium laugh…. Doesn’t translate to box office accolades. Is it worth the risk and can you ever change gears successfully?

I have to admit that when I think of a Kevin Hart movie I am not always the first in line to pay my hard-earned money to watch him flail and screech to the beat of his own drum in comedy movies. Until Now….

The Upside: Based on a true story is the coming of age for a unusual dynamic that breaks the barriers of race and economical background. Assumptions will be thrown out the window when it comes to this unpredictable production. @bri_media was able to catch the story line in one area but I was caught off guard by much of this movie. I hadn’t heard of  The Upside until given the assignment for radio media coverage at the Edwards Greenway Cinema. I never would have expected to enjoy this movie as much as I did. I don’t watch movie trailers because I want everything to be authentic.

The Upside is a must see for the family/date night. I have a new found respect for Kevin Hart in this movie. Some of the scenes missed the mark where they intended laughter I may not have found a belly laugh to expel. It also missed the mark with me to warrant tears within some of the deeper more dynamic scenes. I am not the most emotional person so that really isn’t saying much.

If you were expecting in detail specifics of the movie- you will not find it here. I will say that I left wanting more.. I wanted to know what happened after the final scenes. It’s a much needed bromance comedy that is much needed in todays hypersensitive society. Just go see the movie and disregard the negative reviews. It was actually pretty phenomenal.

Final Verdict: 1.5 Thumbs UP

 

Moment In Testimony

Every person has a story that needs to be told either to God or to themselves as a reminder of how far they have come. 1000 Testimonies is an extraordinary amount of breakthroughs. 

HOPE OVER HURT

EMPOWERMENT

OUTREACH

SERVICE

 

Wendi J Turner is known as an Inspirational Architect due to the methods she uses to create a journey of worship over numerous lives. Following a path into ministry since 1998, publishing “The 30 Day Experience” and creating the 4000 miles of hope. When others thought she was losing her mind by traveling across the United States by foot and car all alone she saw God’s grace. If your dreams don’t scare you it may be time to dream bigger and wilder.

“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of Service but the same Lord.” 1 Corinthians 12:4

When I first met Mrs. Turner, I was so impressed by her effortless way of making everyone in the room feel engaged, valued and a part of her vision of love. Destiny is a word that others may find intimidating when creating a future we ultimately have zero control over. A mission which granted her foundation the prestigious award of Hope Over Hurt Day by Houston’s own Mayor Sylvester Turner on June 9, 2017. 

MISSION OF HOPE OVER HURT

1. ERADICATE EXTREME POVERTY AND HUNGER

2. ACHIEVE UNIVERSAL PRIMARY EDUCATION

3. PROMOTE GENDER EQUALITY AND EMPOWER WOMEN

4. REDUCE CHILD MORTALITY

5. ENSURE ENVIRONMENTAL SUSTAINABILITY

6. DEVELP A GLOBAL PARTNERSHIP FOR DEVELOPMENT

What brings this group together is the 1000 Testimonies that have been shared with the Hope Over Hurt mission. Stories of cancer in remission, lost children being found, the diagnosed infertile being pregnant and the list goes on and on. A purpose very important to Mrs. Turner. 

Go to www.hopeoverhurt.org to learn more about Hope Over Hurt.

 

I Am. Speaking Into Existence.

I felt the pain in her words “Go down and make a left”. My Roscoe was sick and needed prescriptive cat food. A pricey reality I came to grips with months prior despite the strain on my already depleting pockets. If this was my biological child I would follow all methods of therapy to give my feline son the best quality of life. So that is what I committed to without one second thought.

Why the long face I thought….  I smiled at her – A rare occurrence for a resting face woman like me- keep the wrinkles at bay… know what I mean?

“How Is Your New Year Going?” I asked her… She replied minus eye contact “it’s ok”. I met her low eyes with a low voice “it will get better babe, what time is your shift over?”. This opened the door for her to bare her heart to a total stranger- the role I played in that moment in time.

As she entered my information and I prepared to make the steep payment- I cringed to insert my chip. “I had to put my dog down a few days ago, he was old with health problems. The surgery would have been $10,000 & that wasn’t possible”… She said with a whisper…

assorted-color-and-kind animal figure lot on yellow surface

My heart sunk. What do you say to that? I omitted the obviously evident response… I’m so sorry? No.   Our pets are our family and I felt her pain as she courageously spoke about a loss I could feel radiating off her lips.

I share this to say this:

Be thankful for all that you have and don’t have. In this very instant! We can have all the New Years Resolutions in the World with success or failure. The loss of a loved one is very rarely chosen by us unless we are granted DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) Permissions. Our pets lives are often ended with one signature.

The battle within our hearts… Is this the right decision? Do I fight harder? One more surgery or procedure? I lost 3 pets within 2 years… A pain deep inside my bones that brings tears to me as I write the words you are reading. I sang to my Sammy as the death inducing medication entered his blood stream. I laid on the hospital floor with him in my arms as I felt his heart slowly weaken. Boom boom. Boom boom. Boom. Boom….. Boom… “You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine…”

I beg of you… Surrender to all the love you can give to others right now. You may not have all that you want or be all that you know you have the potential to accomplish. But, you my friend are the love of your own life. Single. Taken. Married. Love is everything. You are everything. Appreciate your day one of 2019. Even if you already aren’t having the start you expected to this new year.

Change neon light signage

To the others that have lost a loved one, four legged, 2 legged and no legged… You have the power to allow that misplaced love to enrich the bandaged heart beating in your chest cavity today!

Where will your gratitude take you in 2019?

Put a smile on your face and repeat after me…. I Am…. (Insert Goal)

Here’s Mine… I Am… An Inspiration.

Speak it and receive what’s yours.

Allow your world the ability to receive it.

i love you illustration